The Reluctant Poet

Winter 2002

THE RELUCTANT POET
Bucky Gelo

I'm the reluctant poet; there is much to say, yet I sit silently, lips pursed
Frozen in time, while thoughts portage the endless labyrinth of the mind
at speeds un-calculatable, lost in the infinite network of timelines,
past and future consciousness
Surely by now, everything has been said by those with their predictions, theries,
die-sections, bye-sections, mandates, criticism, quantinized, sterilized opinions.
Where is my small voice to be heard amid the babble of a civilization so vast,
so numerable, so near- sighted, so deaf, so greedy, so intelligent, im-moral
So i sit and dream of a communique' a universal language for the masses
A voice to be heard, a voice to speak for all the little voices, frozen, imprisoned,
meek, oppressed; a voice longing to be heard, just once above the rest.
An emotion yet to be felt.

I'm the reluctant poet, too cadaverous to cast out the careworn, eroded net
into the sea of predatious, sightless, razor-lipped entropic carnivoire.
Too content, agencies, recluse. Safe in my apocalyptic space
warm in my superstructure of isolation
Deaf from the shadows, blind from the tyrannical drums
Under the blanket of the blood of the sewn lips
I hide, ashamed, defused in the odious, unspoken enigma

I MISS UGLY

Its Memorial Day morning. A time to grill out, reflect on those passed. I miss Ugly
I guess I need to explain about the name Ugly. A long time ago, back in high school, Ronald Paul Albright, a couple years younger than us, started hanging with us. Us, consisted of me, my friend Tommy, the Bennaway's all the closest neighbors my age. We all grew up in rural Ontario, NY. and in those days, it was just a village. We lived on the lakeshore of Great Lake Ontario, amid the fruit orchards, grape vineyards, and the smell of the seaweed backing up in Bear Creek.
One day, Tom and I saw Ron peddling up on his bike, and Tommy blurted out" Here comes that ugly Albright kid!" For whatever reason, from that day on, Ron was called Ugly. We had a good life, growing up in the rural environment; camping in the near-by woods, swimming and boating on the lake, "Terrorizing" the town in our rebellious teenage ways. Ugly was a part of my first real friends, always consistent in my life, and still everpresent, though he has passed. So, today, as I reflect on Memorial Day, I think of Ugly. I think of how he lives on in so many people's memory. Of all the lives he touched, of all the giving he had for humanity, of the opportunities I missed to have another moment with Ugly.

Awesome Expresso-Choc. Cake

Simple, quick! Pre heat: 350

2 oz Baking Choc. 1 TS Vanilla
1 Egg 3/4 cup Expresso
1 Cup Sugar 1 1/3 Cup Flour
1/3 Cup Oil 1 TS Baking Powder
1 TS Baking Soda

Melt Choc. Set aside. Grease & flour 8" Pan
Combine beat egg, and sugar (add slowly)
Add oil, Vanilla, Choc. and coffee; Beat well
Mix Flour, Baking Powder & Soda.
Add slowly to wet mix, and beat well.
Spread, and bake about 40 Min (Till toothpick is clean) Try it, You'll like it!!

New Glasses Require Piercing of Bridge of Nose!

This amused me yesterday!! The new glasses that incorporate a barbell assy. pierced through the bridge of the nose to hold the glasses on. PLEASE somebody, explain to me whats up with this concept? Have they run out of "other " body locations to pierce? And why is this so better looking then the conventional method of holding the specs on? And, what about a big whack in the face? Wont that feel good, having that barbell ripped out of the nose bridge? Soon enough, at birth, they will just pierce the nose and insert a bull ring, because, we are becoming as cattle, all being led to the latest fashion trends, more vibrant tattoos (wait till those folks see them in 40 years!) more bizarre body piercing locations, more STUPIDNESS.

One thing I'm sure of; My eyesight will be 20/20 when I get to heaven!!
No corrective lenses needed there.

So go ahead people, pierce, tattoo, and disgrace your bodies to your hearts content, and live by your fleshly fads. Apparently, the natural beauty of ones' eyes, or smile is not enough to get one's attention anymore!

Pain relievers Heart Failure Risk???

I somehow was not overly surprised to see this News Headline yesterday!
Three or four years ago, I suffered an injury at work, and my doctor prescribed common pain killers to control the symptoms. The cause of the pain, he just kept referring me to different specialists to figure out. But my doctor's fix was to have me take large doses of Ibruprofen, Naproxen, and others I since then forgot the names of. The idea of having to take something all day, everyday, did not bode well with me. I WAS in pain, and started taking the pills. I noticed two distinct things happening to me; The pills did not help the pain one bit. Not only did they not help, but they started giving me stomach problems. The next step the doctor took, was to prescribe yet another pill for the stomach problems. Quoting one of my favorite cartoon characters Popeye, " Woe, I aint no doctor, but I'm loosing me patience!" The stomach pill seemed to help, till the Drug Store and I decided to make a switch to the Generic brand of medication. That did not work. I made a judgment call, and stopped taking the pain medication. Within the month, I noticed my stomach problems started to go away. Hmmm, lets see now, if I stop taking one pill, I dont seem to need the other. Isnt that special? I ended up treating my pain problems with acupuncture. I cant stress enough how that helped my situation. Pain under control, and no medications. What a revelation! Then I see the news headline yesterday. Am I surprised? Of course not! In the midst of trying to get to the bottom of my back pain, my doctor's treatment was to refer me to countless specialists. And of course, prescribe pills. He even Clearly stated that much to me. That was his function; prescribe medications. Well, that doctor is HISTORY! The pills are history. It is my feeling that there is a substitute for pills for almost anything that ails ya. We all put our trust in doctors, of course. But do not blindly discount the other options available to us. Acupuncture has been around over 5,000 years. What does that tell you? Anything we injest in our bodies for any length of time other that short, temp, relief, will have effects in the long run; Count on it.

Loneliness

Loneliness knows no boundaries I can be immersed in a throng of thousands but
Loneliness prevails above all else

loneliness has no allies save the forces that seep into every crevice of the brain
loneliness de-moralizes

loneliness saps the strength from a giant and brings him to his knees
loneliness is Heartless

loneliness poisons the soul and corrupts logical reasoning beyond category
loneliness is addictive

loneliness is absolute with its unpenitrable armor reeking havoc against the unprepared
loneliness is complete

loneliness is Satin's mistress with her perverted senseless allure
loneliness is evil

Today's News Headlines

Saturday May 20, 2006

Here are but a few of today's cheery Headlines:

Blast wounds Palestinian Intelligence Head

Residents flee Militias in Mogadishu

Suicide Bomber Kills 5 in Iraq

19 Killed in Baghdad bomb explosion

Youth arrested over knife murder outside London School

Guards and Detainees Clash at Guantanamo

3 Die, 2 Missing in Ky. Mine Blast

Those are only the headlines. Those are only the "Major" stories shaping our world today.
If I tried to post all the bad news of the day, I am sure this Blog Sight would not handle the load.
It would be very old news indeed, by the time I got l done publishing all of it.
I did not mention anything about the violence in Brazil, the threats form N. Korea, or Iran.
I did not mention the countless other murders committed in every city in the World.
Will we ever get our ducks in a row? When we are down to the last two people on Earth, one of them will most likely murder the other one. Hail Mary, full of grace.....................

We walk by Faith

ROLL BY FAITH NOT BY SIGHT
Last night, I started of driving to church to play a service.
I drove 4 of the 26 miles to church, when all the dashboard
lights came on, glowing in sickening orange-red. I turned the lights
and radio off, and drove to a gas station, and popped the hood, engine running.
The alternator belt had broken. The other belt on the engine, drove the water pump
and power steering. So, the engine was taking all electrical energy from the battery.
The question in my mind was, how far can I drive on the battery power? Besides lights
and fuel pump, and computer, I made a judgment call, and decided to drive on.
My stomach started to ache as I drove and eyes transfixed on the dashboard lights
glowing. I began to pray, "Lord, get me to church to glorify your name; I've waited for
this night to worship your Holy name." I kept praying, and giving Jesus updates on how far I had left to go. My stomach ache receded, and I drove and prayed. I was 15 minutes later
than I wanted to be, and I drove and prayed; no use worrying about what time it is, and
how far I have to go. The closer I got, the signal lights were all green, giving me the go ahead, and I prayed and drove. I pulled into the church parking lot. I grabbed my guitar and headed in. It was then I realized that God did not keep the car going for me, he kept me going
for me. By acting on faith alone, I kept the composure to know I was going to get there.
Faith. A hard thing for us ultra smart humans to rely on. We don't like it when things are not
in our control. By putting my mess in the hands of God, I was not in control; God was.
This realization was not a new revelation to me; just last Sunday at church, the preacher
spoke just those word to us. We walk by faith, not by sight. In fact, we all repeat those words each service closing. The trick is to actually practice what we say.
Last night, on the way to church, staring at those ugly Volvo dashboard lights, it was
easy to practice. Not a life and death situation, but just ordinary life's trials and tribulations.
We Walk By Faith Not By Sight

Visions at the Laundromat

Saturday at the Laundromat, My favorite chore; I gaze round the room, people watching
The Mexican migrants with their brushcuts, quiet ways, and tinted windows
A mom and daughter folding their warm clothes, the mom but a child herself
The young woman in her 20's approaching obesity, her face in a book
A couple young guys in Bermuda shorts in spite of the snow outside, talking football
Perpetual puddles eating away at the floor tiles, the scarfaced change machine that
vandals attempted to violate, the droning of the clothes extractor The
squeaking of an occasional cycle-change of a washer, and the endless clinking of quarters
dropping into machines that appear to be ancient. What used to take two quarters
now takes fourteen

Double Shot of Jesus

For the last year and a half, I have been playing in the "Book of Life" Christian rock band doing the Life Teen services at a Roman catholic Church. I had initial reservations about how well a 57 year old guy would be received by the teens. As things progressed, I was aware of many adults attending the Life Teen services also. My reservations evaporated, when after service one night, one of the Alter Girls not only complimented the band, but informed me that all the teens thought I was so cool! Wonders never cease, but then again, they are seeing me at what I do best, and at my best with the Holy Spirit pouring out of my guitar. The satisfaction I get from playing the Life Teen services spurred me on to explore other venues to further my musical ministry. One night at a service, the theme of the night was how God was using various people from many walks of life. The Preist spoke first, describing his life changing decision to be ordained. Then a nun got up and also presented her biography, depicting her evolution unto God's work. My friend who is studying to be a deacon gave a wonderful dissertation on his calling, as well as the Youth Minister. Both the deacon, and the Youth Minister are married and explained how their calling effected their spouses' lives and how they sorted through the important issues that would impact their lives from then on. Then the church admin. Director got up and spoke. Her story made a huge impression on me. She made the decision to give her life to the Lord, as a single woman, using her talents in the name of God. She spoke very quietly about her life, and I found myself leaning forward to catch every word. All of these people said the same thing; that the decision did not come over night, that they never dreamed they would be contemplating what would change their lives forever, and that with prayer, God opened the doors and revealed possibilities to turn their prayers into reality. The night was a real eye opener for me. I went home, and prayed hard. I prayed to be used. My gift from God is my music, and I prayed that I could expand my musical ministry to gorify his Holy name. The very next morning, I noticed an add on the internet for a guitar player for a Gospel band. I found myself clicking off to respond to the posting almost automatically. I got a response back, and an invitation to their services at the Walk of Life Christian Center. If I told you I did not have trepidation about driving to the inner city, I would be telling a lie. But, this is one of those classic cases where one must rely on faith, rather than sight. Even as a visitor, I was welcomed by all. I explained to the Pastor about my calling, and wondered if they really understood. They do. I play there , the only white guy, twice a week. I have introduced songs from the Life Teen band to them, and in turn brought songs back to Life Teen from them! Its been five months now, and I continue to pray to be used further, and thank God for this chance to do his work. What I did not expect (though I don't know why) was the spiritual effect the Walk of Life has bestowed upon me. I know now! I cling to the words of the Pastor, and they ring in my head all week. Then I go to the catholic Church and play. The Preist's message is geared for the Teens, of course, and is simple, short, catchy enough to keep their attention, and I found that I too, take each week's simple word home, and reflect on all week.

Hold me Jesus, for I am weak I hunger for your presence
Seeking the Rock to plant my feet How glorious , my Savoir
Wrap me in your warming cloak I'm shivering outside it
Only you wash clean my stains my precious Lord, my Savoir

The Whole World's Turned Upside-Down

My recent posts spoke of saving gas, slowing down, tailgating, and crazy driving. Well, the stakes just got higher! Sunday, when I got to church, I was informed that one of Teen Alter Girls was hit by a car while crossing the street. Speeding, complete carelessness, and pure meanness (tried to get away) were all playing a part in this senseless act. Its as if a pandemic virus of evilness has befallen us. Yes, Satin's power of suggestion is free to spread, and grow in this perfect environment. But lets not forget that this is the only sway Satin has on us, the power of suggestion. The real blame is on us, the free choice Humans. We make those choices ourselves, not Satin. We all have the power within us to fight back against him with our full armor of prayer, and constant vigilance. We all underestimate the powers we each bestow in ourselves in prayer. Yes, the whole world is turned upside-down crazy! The only way to survive in this evil environment, is prayer, and Jesus. My prayer to the whole world is, that the believers pick up the prayer pace, and the unbelievers, I pray that "something" or "somebody" puts the seed of righteousness in your garden, and as the tiny mustard seed has the power to grow and flourish, so does my sublimial seed sowing takes in your heart. Super-Natural Evil abounds, and we cant fight this on our own. We must use Super-Natural Powers available to us. Remember, faith is the word, and the word is God.

Unreasonable Search and Seizure

More Breaking Big Brother news!
NSA is building a data base using most of the major phone companies' records. They say they they are not eves-dropping, but building a data base to investigate "patterns" What patterns? There are so many calls going on, that the patterns are so vast, that the possibilities are endless on what they can do with that information in the future. And why are so many Congressmen so troubled about this issue?
I put a hold on the G. Orwell novel, 1984. I want to re-read what I read and joked about 35 years ago. In any event, Orwell was only off 22 years, and things can happen fast in this day and age. So today, they say this is in the name of fighting terrorism, but tomorrow, who knows? Today, I have the freedom of the press, but tomorrow, I may be scrutinized for what I'm saying today. So, make no mistake about it, Big Brother is Watching. Right now, they are collecting. Lets see exactly what they do with this infamous data base collection.

Tailgater, Keep Back !!

So, my last (relevant) Blog concerned getting the most out of your tank of gas, and changing your driving habits.
This week, its more than about saving gas, but saving your life, your car, and getting me angrier than a nest of ground hornets.
Its you tailgater out there!! Either you have forgotten one of the first rules of the road, dealing with a car length distance for each 10 MPH traveled. If I can clearly see the whites of your eyes at 35 MPH, you are too close to me, but at 60 MPH, I must say, is plain UNACCEPTABLE. What are these people thinking? I am not comfortable with my rear mirror completely taken up with the entire grill of an SUV, or Hemi truck. Yesterday, two incidents come to mind right off the get-go. My usual approach to this matter is to tap the brakes a couple of times, and if they are really close, raise my hand in protest. The first tailgater jaw dropped outa sight, and eyes widened, quickly backed off and got the drift. The second vehicle, was a shinny new black Impala. Their response to me was both people in the car got their arms out the windows, and demonstrated 50 different ways to express obscene gestures. That car passed me as soon as possible, repeating the hand gestures , and moving off to the next car in front of them to tailgate further. By the way, they made no headway on me, for a few minutes later, I passed them in my lane, smiling as I passed by. I lost one of my best friends on a motorcycle because of a tailgater, and now I am even less tolerant of that practice.
The next no-no is the car that passes you and cuts you right off, taking up all the car lengths your vehicle is paced at, all the while applying their brakes, for the car now ahead of them is going much slower than they.
My response to these incidents, are real tests of my Christian faith, I gotta tell you!
Please people, slow down, and think about what it means to be traveling at 60 MPH!!

Oh Bloggy-Oh Blogga

Yikes, Its May and I haven't Blogged yet!! April was my first month of Blog. I've spent time over the past month, reading some other people's Blogs and trying to figure out just what its all about. Folks seem to use Blog for anything; Its amazing. I don't care too much for the ones with a gazilion links, and abrupt music making me jump start in the chair! And some, are very interesting, but they have their comment box locked. I am more or less flattered when I get comments; mostly from friends, (Thanks Tommy & AL !) but not all. Cool. I will try to keep my Blog to something I'm passionate about, or really upset about. Like the deer in my yard right now!Five, I snapped off a couple photos, but they were moving too far for my $ 118.00 camera! Ah, a great start to the morning, black coffee, nature passing right out my window. Now to pack up my instruments, and ready myself for The Walk of Life Christian Center for my morning worship, and my musical ministry. Praise the Lord. Amen