Thursday, June 08, 2006
I sit in solitude, the music turned off, only the background drone of the computer hard drive, the clack of the keys under my digits, and my mind straining to form the theme for what I am about to say. I struggle with collective thoughts of times past, and perspectives present. I go into dark corners where I feared to tread before, coward that I am. Does time really make it easier to go there now? I don't think so. Broken bones mend, but the fracture is ever evident in the X Ray.
Do recollections of the past help mend the rift, or inject the agony with increased fervency? Is not the analysis of the history a pertinent part of the process?
I have tried blocking out the black past, but the energy expended to maintain the anisotropy, draws power from all vital functions.
No, no, this all has to be carefully examined from every angle. No detail should be left for dead. The entire puzzle must be put back together, even if the surface is completely black. Like a jigsaw puzzle, only one piece fits in its right alignment, and so, even all black pieces will fit into their designations.
It should be absurdly trivial to look back into one's own mind, and make perfect sense of everything. After all, who should know me better than me?
But you see, that's just it! I'm too doggone smart for me. I have managed to encode the message so completely, that now the code is un-breakable.
Am I digging too deep, or is not the information right before my blind eyes? Shall I be spending the entire balance of my life endeavoring to crack the code, or is it not the meaning of life itself?